Relational Field

What is the relational field? How can we define it or understand? Where is it? May this mystery be a source of comfort; an invitation into exploring, learning and growing for yourself. This intersectionality of our physical body, breath, mind/emotions, intellect/wisdom, and spirit with ourselves and that of another is a curious path.

Looking through the psychological lens of the self.

Carl Jung shares: "The self is relatedness. The self only exists in as much as you appear. Not that you are, but that you do the self."

Carl Rogers suggests: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

Winnicott exudes: "It is a joy to be hidden, and a disaster not to be found."

Poets and artists are deep into this mystery, where art comes to live through the self.

Author/poet John O'Donohue shares an offering To Bless the Space Between Us.

Poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer recognizes We all live together in a home in which the rooms are made of song.

We are in a rapidly changing time where intentional non-ordinary states of consciousness and mental health are intersecting. So what happens when we let ourselves drop deeper into our self and go exploring?  

Coleman Barks translates Rumi's words that lure us there to contemplate.

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing,

there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

The world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other'

Doesn't make any sense.

Curiosity then might lead us to a field that exists beyond the inner or outer space per se as we know it.   This may bring up questions such as does anything or nothing exist?  This thought might lead to feelings of fear, sorrow and joy.  If we are operating from fear we might start to say things like I don’t care then.  F*** it.  It doesn’t matter. Nothing is real.  If we feel our sorrow; we may cry out because we see that it really does matter, and all the ways we missed it before.  And true joy may erupt and finally greet us as we land safely in this field that knows and lives as grace all around us.  

So how do we enter, or stay in this field and why do we leave?  In not knowing, we are drawn into something that has no guarantee and no destination.   I don’t know about you but that is any relationship I have ever been in ( the one with a friend, family, lover, sofa, food, vacation, job, money, etc...)   This is not to say that there isn’t stability in these places; as there is so much there or the potential for it to be that way. We often just get caught in our own world of seeing and knowing and desiring things to be a certain way; a right or wrong place that wants to be solid but then does little for being in the field.  The field is beyond us. It is expressly a space of not knowing over and over.  It is a space that cannot be defined. A place to surrender into. A space we are surrendered to.

So what might help to cope on a daily basis with this existential dilemma of having no solid right or wrong place to land and being in a relationship with ourselves and others to get things done?  Well here a few offerings that I have been guided to and found helpful:

1.      Begin to understand the difference of relationship and field.

2.      Explore for yourself what “relationship” and “field” mean to you.  You may do this by reading a poem, saying a prayer, singing a song, dancing, yoga, taking a walk, or some other form of drawing down into this unknown space of creation and listening; to explore the possibility of how your own wisdom might want to join the conversation.

3.      Respond to that wisdom then by writing your own poem back, or writing a prayer of your own, making up a new song, dance your yoga, or taking another walk and see what you might find there. Allow yourself to be inspired and create something or notice something without judgement; maybe engage with the slow dance of trees, the sound of the wind, the gurgle in your stomach to remind you to get home for dinner, the smell of rosemary, the final taste of a sugar cookie for dessert.

4.      Limit expectations that this will be the solution to understanding and open to the possibility that you will continue not to know and it is beyond us.

5.      Fiercely lean into having consciously ventured in the “field”  if only for a moment and make a plan to continue to cultivate curiosity and compassion in your exploration on a daily basis.

6.      Take what you learn as you interact to relationships in this way. You might concretely ask yourself where in your body can you connect; where you can expand and share in the sphere around you; allowing for the field to be created through you. Consider inviting others into a relational field by expressing gratitude, and appreciation for the differences you see and hear.  Be curious, encourage and celebrate these differences as the field.  Let your own understanding be changed over and over by these relational encounters and this secret field that universally holds us all in union.

The information provided on this blog is meant for informational and contemplative purposes. It does not constitute professional therapy, medical advice or any other professional service. It is not a substitute for professional advice, and you should always seek the direct advice of a qualified therapist, medical provider, spiritual guide or other professional for any questions you may have regarding your spiritual, mental, physical health and well-being. Any reference to such providers are not endorsements and you are solely responsible for your own actions and results based on interacting with this site.